Hi friends!
Looking back, I posted part 1 of this story not realising I was still in the middle of it. I published too soon; the other half of the story had not even unfolded yet. Re-reading through what I wrote – my story sounded very upbeat and positive. And for good reason, I was high out of my mind when I wrote it! I was still in hospital and they had me on so many painkillers post c-section. I was having the time of my life! Until I had to come off the heavy medications and the reality of what happened hit me like a ton of bricks.
I was in hospital for five days with this last labour & delivery. On day five when it was time to leave, I felt like I was not ready. This made a lot more sense to me later in this story because looking back, I should have never left. During my stay, my bloodwork showed that my white blood cell count was extremely elevated. The doctors were initially concerned, but repeat bloodwork showed my WBC as trending downward, so I was cleared to go home.
When it was time to go, no wheelchairs were available so I made the long walk out of the hospital. I did not realise we could not leave the same way we came in (a much shorter trip!) I walked at a very slow pace, crying with every step while other new moms breezed past me like it was no big deal. I felt awful and could barely move! I had a sharp pain in my right side that made it almost unbearable to keep taking steps the further along we got. Finally, at the hospital’s entrance, a staff member from the maternity ward saw me and as soon as the mother she was wheeling was out of the chair, she let me get in and she wheeled me to my car. I am pretty sure she broke some rules to do this because we were parked way far away – much further than she was supposed to go with the wheelchair, but she felt bad for me and did it anyway. For that, I am forever grateful.
When we arrived home, it did not feel like home to me. I remembered this distinct feeling from when I had Landon. Must be something about having boys! Everything felt foreign to me. I hated that feeling! I felt like I could not even recognise my own house, and I was worried it would never feel like home again (spoiler alert, this was very temporary!)
Those first few days being home, we had some lovely people from our church bring us meals. They joined a Meal Train that was made for us by my dear friend. We have had this for all our births, and each time I would eat every meal and really enjoy it. This time it was so different. I saw the food but I could not stomach it. I had next to no appetite, but I knew I was hungry and needed to eat because I was breastfeeding. Something just felt off. I had an inkling that something was wrong, so I mentioned it to my midwife and she said it is totally normal to not have much of an appetite following birth. I should have known better because my norm is having a HUGE appetite after birth.
One night, after a few days of being home, I suddenly got dizzy. I would walk, and it felt like my head was not coming with me. This was scary and I became anxious because I did not want to fall, especially with my newborn in my arms. I resorted to walking along the walls while holding onto them for dear life whenever I did need to get up. The dizzy spell went away after a night of sleep, so I figured it was a one-off thing that would not happen again.
I also noticed that I was cold all the time. I had Louis at the end of January, so we were in the thick of Summer here in New Zealand. Not only was I cold, but I could not tolerate it. The cold feeling went to my core and no number of layers would warm me. I started taking extra hot showers and staying in them for as long as possible, trying to warm up. I noticed that at night, I would fall asleep and wake up absolutely drenched in sweat. This is supposed to be normal in postpartum, but I have never experienced it this extreme or for as long as it lasted (I was like this for over a month).
Naturally, as my incision healed, my pain became more tolerable. My goal was to come off the pain medications altogether, but I could not because about an hour before I would become due for my next dose, I would start getting body aches and pains. Not the kind from the surgery; the kind you get when you have the flu. My joints hurt, I was getting headaches, and I felt like I was sick.
Click for Part 3:
The Cullums Immigrate 