My Delivery Story – Part 4

During my stay, I would wake up at all hours of the night. One night, I felt prompted to start praying, so I did. Amid everything going on, that is the one thing I did not think to do. When I was done praying, I looked out my window. It was pitch black except for a stained-glass window, which was illuminating from the inside of the campus chapel. It was a picture of Jesus, and in that moment, I was reminded that He was with me, and He had never left my side through any of this. I was comforted.

On day 6, I finally went 24 hours without having a fever, so I was cleared to go home. When I got up to leave, I realised that I was so sidetracked with how I felt that I forgot I was healing from surgery. All that pain I was feeling was almost gone. I felt like a different person! This time, when I left the hospital, I felt like it was time to leave. I felt fully ready.

Coming home, the feeling of home had returned and I felt so much better and more mobile. We stopped at Matt’s work to say hi and bring the baby around to meet everyone. I was happy just being out and about, finally getting that fresh air I had been craving.

Although many tests were done in hospital to figure out what infection(s) I had, ultimately, they only identified one of the infections. I had a UTI that cleared up quickly during my hospital stay, while the other infection will remain unknown. My doctor did warn me this may happen, and it is common not to find out. The goal was to get the correct antibiotics in my system to help me fight – which they did. They think I may have had endometritis, which is an infection in the uterus. But that’s only speculation. They also discovered a haematoma above my incision line; it went away a few weeks ago. It was painful!

In hospital, I received over 20 rounds of IV antibiotics (I lost count after that). The hospital sent me home on two antibiotics, and I ended up on two more over the course of the past few months. My immune system has understandably taken a hit, and I am now having to work on repairing it. The road ahead for me is long, but I am taking it one day at a time. By God’s grace, I will fully recover.

Looking back, this turned out to be the most traumatic labour & delivery experience of my four experiences. Writing this story has helped me to fully process what happened. Bonding with Louis did not come as naturally as it did with my other three. I will be honest – for that first week, I felt like I was tending to a baby doll. It was a horrible feeling. I wanted to have all those same lovey-dovey feelings I had with my other babies, but they just were not there [yet]. I think not being awake for his birth was to blame.

As I healed and started feeling myself, me and Louis naturally bonded. I felt like I could properly enjoy him now that I was not in pain or sick. I felt robbed of being able to enjoy the first few weeks of his life, but we’ve more than made up for it! He is my little sidekick buddy. We do everything together and I enjoy wearing him. He is super clingy, which can be inconvenient at times (like when I need to cook, eat, or tend to one of the other children). But I am fully soaking in his cuteness and ultimately am grateful that we made it past the tough beginnings and are moving on to the more fun stages.

I also felt robbed of my time with Matt. I missed almost all of his paternity leave because I was either sick or in hospital. I had been looking forward to getting to spend some quality time with him, and I felt like that was taken from me. There were only a few days between me getting home from the hospital (for good) and Matt going back to work. Not to mention, I missed my other children! We didn’t get that whole family bonding time I thought we would have during Matt’s time off. I look forward to our next holiday so we can make up for it.

Louis is most certainly our last baby. We knew that going into this, but this experience sealed the deal for us. We are very happy with our four children; our family feels complete. I feel done and I sincerely mean that. I am so excited about what the next chapter in our lives will bring. We have been bringing babies into this world for the past 9 years. I have had a few breaks between being pregnant and breastfeeding, but not much. I am ready to move on and enjoy the children we have. We want to start travelling and going on adventures once Louis is old enough. Although it was rough on us all, Louis is worth everything it took to get him here! The same goes for our other children. I am so proud of us!

With Love,

The Cullums